2)
On my last elevator pitch, I received a lot of
feedback. I received all positive feedback, which made me happy. Almost every
person said they wanted my service to become real. I did not though, that my
voice was a little monotone and the way I presented myself could improve
drastically.
3)
In my new elevator pitch, I completely changed
my voice and the way I used hand gestures. Instead of looking bored, I tried to
sell the audience by using hand gestures and changing my voice to sound
convincing and thrilling. I want people to like my service as much as I do, so
I sounded interested. I want people to think that I am completely invested and
excited for my service, so they can be the same.
Hey Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI still like the idea of your service, it only seems to grow more with every post. What I felt like this pitch could have used more of is specificity in terms of what you can get, and maybe where your sources come from. Your statistics are good, but more people will be affected by them if a reputable source is attached to it. I might've missed the assignments where you said exactly what the food truck sold, but including it in the pitch will make people hungry, and want the service now instead of later. Maybe consider changing "base, veggie, protein" to a more colorful assortment of things like "customize between natural white or brown rice, a delicious assortment of fresh organic vegetables, and additive free proteins such as chicken, beef, pork, and tofu" or something like that. Great job!
Hi Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI still love your idea. I hope it becomes real one day in a location that I am at. I think this elevator pitch can be improved by showing even more enthusiasm. Your hand motions were great. I like that you gave statistics as well. It makes me want the product more. Perhaps be more detailed in what you are selling as well. What kind of protein and smoothies?
Hey Amanda,
ReplyDeleteThere was a lot of improvement in the pitch compared to the last one. The brightness, the clarity in your voice, and the hand gestures really helped! You put more detail into what your food truck will provide and I truly wish you started this food truck. It was great how you compared other food service to yours. Having just 90 seconds is hard to go into a lot of detail so you executed this well. If you could, fitting in examples of the bowls and smoothies would be even better.
great job!
Hi Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI liked how your body language improved in this pitch, compared to the last elevator pitch. You have had my attention and enthusiasm from the start for your food truck, and I really wish it would become a reality! I think what is missing, like the others said, would be going into detail about what exactly people would be buying rather than general information. Of course, there is a time limit, but I think you could manage. Great work here!